Bond for a day: being 007 on a short stay schedule
While it's great to be able to get away for a few weeks and play Bond in luxurious exotic locations, it's not always possible to do so. But, with a little work and imagination, we can have mini-vacations without much traveling or expense, where we can play "Bond for a Day." (Or even just a few hours).
We're talking about a novel approach here - in other words, the Fleming books, not the movies. It's a lot easier to emulate James on the page, than James on the sound stage-cheaper too, for those of us on a budget. So, what do you do when you want a mini-Bond experience? You hit the books. Some stories are easier than others for our purpose. If you wanted to do a Quantum of Solace Bond for a Day, all you would have to do is listen to a story of infidelity at a country club, but that isn't a lot of fun is it? Better off with From Russia With Love or Casino Royale as a guide. Okay, you open the book or story, and you notice what Bond eats, drinks, does, where he goes, what he experiences, and you boil it down to its essence to meet with the possibilities of your location, budget, and time.
Want a specific example? Okay, here's a Bond for A Day mini-experience that I just completed, courtesy of You Only Live Twice. We're talking the Orient. We're talking Oriental girls, Oriental food, Sake, and some bang bang to go along with the kiss kiss. That's the essence. Here was the program. Shower. Dress in a neat Guayabera shirt and white pants. Black and white spectator shoes. Head on over to a local Oriental Massage establishment, wherein a lovely Asian masseuse lent a hand to the improvement of East-West relations. (Actually she wasn't Japanese, but being from Beijing, it was close enough for my purposes. Remember, when in the field, one must improvise, adapt, and overcome). Then, that mission being completed, it was time for some different type of weapons handling. A short trip to a gun store that I do business with, and I was dry firing the latest offerings from Walther and Glock. (That took care of the bang bang part of the experience-what did you think I was referring to before?) After a chat with some gun shop commandos, it was time to eat. You got it right the first time--some great Japanese food, (picked up from a local Oriental grocery store), and a bottle of Sake, accompanied by a recording of Japanese flute music. (Of course, you could also listen to the soundtrack of the movie You Only Live Twice if you are the more literal type and have the record or cd).
So, we had the girl, the guns, and now it was time for the Martinis-shaken not stirred. Smirnoff 100 proof Vodka. Thus in a few hours, in a few miles, and for less than the cost of filling up an oversized SUV, I had myself a Bond for a Dayexperience.
Then, it was time for a power nap, because it is a good idea to separate your Bond consciousness from your every day you state of awareness. It makes the former more special.
Now that you "got the photo" as Ian used to say, take up your favorite Bond book and plan your Bond for a Day experience. Bond Voyage.
© 2008 W. Adam Mandelbaum Esq. - justiceneversleeps.net
Author of The Born Again Bachelor's Bible - Great tips for divorced or divorcing men
Member Association For Intelligence Officers
Former operative at NSA
Present New York Attorney
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